Eternal Dawn
by TwilitLife08
Summary: This is my version of breaking dawn in edwards POV. I absoultely love Breaking Dawn, but if you havent read it yet, than dont read this because it will give everything away. I plan on doing every chapter and i hope you all enjoy it. Read and REVIEW PLEASE
1. Engaged

_**Disclaimer: I am not the wonderful Stephenie Meyer, and unfortunately I hold no claim over Edward or any of the Twilight Saga characters, or the storylines themselves, unless there is something you read that wasn't in the series. **_

_**A/N: Sorry to those of you who were reading Eternally Twilit. I know I never finished, but Breaking Dawn came out, and then it was so hard to distinguish my own thoughts from what was actually written in the book. Besides, no one can do it like Stephenie can. I Absolutely LOVED Breaking Dawn. It was just pure genius. So I hope you all enjoy this story, and I promise I will finish this one!!**_

_**Lots of love, **_

_**Alicia**_

_As Bella and I sat on the couch in Charlie's living room, I could see how tense she truly was. She was completely terrified to tell Charlie about our engagement, but I tried not to let that hurt me. _

_I knew that she just didn't like being the center of attention, and I think she was afraid of how Charlie would feel about her being engaged so young. She kept fidgeting her left hand, as if trying to hide it from Charlie's immediate line of sight, but I held it steadfast. _

_I heard the cruiser pull in the driveway, and Bella's breath became slightly hitched. I could almost laugh at how nervous she was. _

_Charlie's thoughts didn't show that he knew something was up, so he __would_ be a bit surprised.

"Stop fidgeting, Bella. Please try to remember that you're not confessing to a murder here", I said trying hard not to laugh at her.

"Easy for you to say", she shot back, getting more nervous by the second.

Charlie had finally reached the door and the key was twisting in the already unlocked door. _Hmmm, wonder what Edwards doing here so early. He doesn't usually show up until a little later… How long have they been alone together? They better be watching a movie…_

"Calm down, Bella", I whispered gently to her as I heard her poor heart accelerating yet again.

The door slammed open against the wall as Charlie entered, causing Bella to jump. She was so nervous.

"Hey Charlie", I called, totally relaxed and at ease.

"No!", Bella protested just loud enough for my vampire ears to hear.

"What?" I whispered, curious as to why she was afraid of me simply saying hello to Charlie.

She looked horrified. "Wait until he hangs his gun up!".

I had to work extremely hard to keep from laughing at her, as I ran a hand through my hair. As if a bullet would actually matter. Ha!

Although if Charlie attempted to shoot me, and there was no bullet hole, it would be rather difficult to explain.

_Why are those two so quiet all the sudden?? _Charlie's thoughts came creeping around the corner just before he did.

Charlie came around the corner still in his uniform, with his gun still strapped securely in place. _Well, well. Don't they look like deer in the headlights. Edward always tries to act so innocent. I see Bella's point, he is mature for his age, but boys are boys. All after one thing… _

I had to work hard to keep my smile in place. Why was everyone in this day and age so worried about having sex? Was that honestly all people thought I wanted from Bella?

"Hey, kids. What's up?", he asked eyeing me suspiciously.

Bella seemed as if words were beyond her at this point, so I was the one to respond.

"We'd like to talk to you", I said in the most serene voice I had. "We have some good news".

I had to try very hard to keep my face looking straight and innocent. Charlie's expression had changed from being almost friendly to strong suspicion in about a millisecond, and now he was eyeing me somewhat menacingly. _Oh my god, Isabella Marie Swan, if you are pregnant, I swear I will kill him this second. _

If only he knew how much I wished that could be true. Yet again I felt a small pang of guilt for the human experiences I would soon be robbing Bella of. She swore that she wasn't missing anything, but I had a feeling that these treasures weren't ones she'd miss until they were no longer available.

"Good news?" Charlie nearly growled, looking straight at Bella.

"Have a seat dad", Bella said. As if she thought sitting down would make it easier on him.

Charlie raised an eyebrow suspiciously at Bella, then stomped to his recliner, shooting me a dark look that I'm sure Bella missed. Then he flopped down in his chair and sat with his back perfectly straight, like he was ready to spring at me at any second. _What is she so nervous to tell me? People don't get this nervous over GOOD news. She must be pregnant… what else could it be? I'll shoot him if she's pregnant, I swear I will. _Charlie's hand twitched momentarily towards his gun, again to quick for Bella to see. In fact, it was so quick, I'm not sure Charlie even realized he did it.

"Don't get worked up, Dad", Bella told him after a moment of loaded silence from Charlie. "Everything's okay".

At least for her it was silent.

Every time Charlie thought she was pregnant, I felt another small twinge of guilt. I wished more than anyone else, other than my family maybe, could ever understand that it could even be a possibility.

In one of the corners of my mind, I grimaced slightly when she used the word _okay_. I would have described the situation as _wonderful, perfect, glorious, the happiest moments of my existence, the first dawn of my vampiric existence, etc._

But for Bella it was just _okay. _ButI could handle that, because I knew that she loved me, and she was just afraid of having attention.

Charlie seemed to be getting more suspicious by the second. "Sure it is, Bella, sure it is. If everything is so great, then why are you sweating bullets?" _I already know I'm right, Bella so just spit it out, your pregnant…_

"I'm not sweating", she lied.

My sweet Bella. She was such a horrible liar, I don't know why she even bothered. Even Charlie wasn't buying it this time. He was absolutely scowling at her.

Bella leaned away from it, and in towards me. Then, almost as if it were instinctive, she wiped her hand across her forehead to wipe away the evidence. As if Charlie wouldn't notice!

Finally he exploded.

"You're pregnant!", he shouted. "You're pregnant, aren't you?"

Even though Bella was clearly the one the accusation was shouted at, Charlie was glaring furiously at me. _As soon as she admits it, I'll kill you, I swear I will_, he thought viciously. This time his hand twitched noticeably towards his gun, and I know that Bella saw it because she inhaled sharply.

"No! Of course I'm not!", Bella shouted. I knew she was somewhat angry at me now, because she had told me this was the conclusion everyone in town would jump to when the heard of our engagement. I almost found it hysterical that in this day and age, a man and a woman couldn't just be married for love. People always assumed that there was some kind of ulterior motive.

When Bella had said she could not think of any other seemingly logical reason, for outsiders, as to why we were getting married, I said "Love". She had rolled her eyes at me.

Charlie had stopped in his tracks at the thought of murdering me when Bella said this. _What a relief! But then why all the charades? _His glower seemed to lighten slightly, as he processed the fact that his eighteen year old daughter was not pregnant.

"Oh. Sorry", he said a little sheepishly.

"Apology accepted."

There was a long pause, and I was hoping that Bella would realize that both Charlie and I were waiting for her to speak. His mind was reeling a mile a minute, and then he just thought, _Spit it out already kid!_

Bella seemed to realize that we were all waiting for her to speak, and she look at me, completely panic-stricken. For a girl who was excited to become a vampire, it was hysterical that she was so terrified of simply telling her parents that we were engaged. She mystified me more and more everyday. What I wouldn't give to hear her thoughts at this moment.

I smiled slightly at her and then squared my shoulders and turned to face Charlie.

"Charlie, I realize that I've gone about this out of order. Traditionally, I should have asked you first", _Asked me what??, _"I mean no disrespect, but since Bella has already said yes and I don't want to diminish her choice in the matter, instead I ask you for your blessing. We're getting married, Charlie." _You're doing WHAT?_ "I love her more than anything in the world, more than my own life, andby some miracleshe loves me that way, too. Will you give us your blessing?"

It had been very difficult to sound as sincere as I truly was, when I had to hear his thoughts of discouragement. As soon as I finished speaking his hand zeroed in on the engagement ring, that was once my mothers, glittering beautifully on Bella's left hand.

I heard Bella suddenly stop breathing, when she seen the change of color in Charlie's face. Bella started to get up off the couch, but I held her in place. There was nothing she could do to help, but to just give him a moment to let in sink in.

"Give him a minute", I mumbled only loud enough for her to hear, as Charlie continued contemplating.

_Getting married… Why would they want to do this at such a young age? I mean I know Bella loves him, she was such a mess when he left before_I cringed at his thoughts of Bella broken and hollow when I made my biggest mistake ever_but why all the sudden rush? Then again, they do spend every possible moment together. Maybe they really are as in love as it seems. _

"Guess I'm not that surprised," Charlie grumbled at us. "Knew I'd have to deal with something like this soon enough."

Then Charlie looked at Bella, a glare on his face. "You sure about this?", he demanded.

"I'm one hundred percent sure about Edward", she said, sounding as if every single word was true. It felt as if my non-existent heart swelled to be a million times larger when she said this. I loved this girl with every fiber of my being.

"Getting married, though? What's the rush?", Charlie asked, staring at Bella suspiciously. _Maybe she really is pregnant._

I knew that the rush was due to me partially, as I was the one who demanded that Bella married me before I made her immortal. But most of the rush was Bella. She was terrified of the fact that she got older every day and I didn't. It was almost as if she thought she wouldn't be as beautiful to me if she was aging. How _absurd_! As if I could ever want _anything_ but her! No matter how she looked.

I gave Bella a few minutes, but then I realized she wouldn't be able to find a good enough reason that she could explain to Charlie.

"We're going away to Dartmouth together in the fall, Charlie. I'd like to do that, well, the right way. It's how I was raised", I said without even the hint of a lie. In my time, that's the way things had been. In my time, it made sense for Bella and I to be married so young, no questions asked.

_Well how am I supposed to argue that?, _Charlie thought with his mouth twisted to the side. _Am I supposed to say "Oh, id rather you not follow the proper formalities, but just this once"? There was no plausible argument I could find. Edward was almost annoyingly perfect._

I had to stifle a laugh at Charlie's last thought.

"Knew this was coming", he muttered to himself. He finally thought of a perfect way to make it difficult for me and Bella to get married. I nearly laughed again at his thoughts.

"Ha!", he exploded, smiling at Bella, causing her to jump.

Bella looked so confused as Charlie doubled over with laughter. She looked to me for an answer. My lips were pressed in a firm line to bite back the laughter.

"Okay, fine," Charlie managed to choke out between laughs. "Get married", he said as he was taken over with laughter once more. "But.."

"But _what_?" Bella demanded of Charlie, becoming truly irritated at the joke she seemed to be missing out on.

"But _you_ have to tell your mom! I'm not saying one word to Renée! That's all yours!", he rumbled with laughter again, as Bella's jaw dropped.

* * *

"So Charlie is really fine with the wedding?", Emmett prodded.

"Well he is fine with being the one to say it didn't matter. He's planning on Renée being the one to put her foot down and say no", I answered.

A huge grin spread across Emmett's face as he turned to Jasper, with his hand outstretched and said "Pay up".

"I can't believe that you two were betting on whether or not Charlie would oppose to me marrying Bella…. But then again, you have been know to bet on just about everything". I couldn't help but smile in spite of myself. My brothers loved to bet on everything.

"Jasper, being married to someone who sees the future, it surprises me that you loose so much", I teased him.

He crouched down into his fighting stance, knowing that I had just challenged him to a wrestling match. A feral, yet playful growl slipped out from between his teeth, and at the same time Esme came flying out the front door.

"Absolutely _NOT!_ I just finished trimming and hedging all of the rose bushes with Alice, and there is to be no wrestling in this front yard, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen." She had the most frightening motherly look on her face.

Emmett snickered at the fact that she had used my whole name, and muttered something along the lines of, "Oooh, Face!", _Ha-ha mom totally called you out_.

"Sorry mom", I grumbled as Jasper and I straightened out of our defensive positions.

Just as Esme turned to walk in the house, I quickly punched Emmett in the jaw, snickering quietly as I did so.

Unfortunately it wasn't fast enough for Esme to miss.

"EDWARD! What did I say?!", she growled at me. "If you mess up these flowers, I'm letting Alice loose on you!".

This comment may seem funny to most, but when you actually knew what a monstrous little pixie like Alice could do, being on her blacklist was the last place you wanted to be.

After Esme's threat, we all followed her into the house and sat around in the living room. The rest of the family was there. Emmett took a seat with Rose, Jasper with Alice, and Esme curled up next to Carlisle, as he poured over a huge medical book. No doubt doing research for work.

I wandered over to the piano bench, sat down and began playing quietly to myself. As I was playing, I felt a sudden sense of peace that I knew did not belong to me, come washing over me.

_Edward, you're thoughts are so depressed… What's wrong?_, Jasper's thoughts came creeping into my mind.

"I just look around and see you all together, and it makes it even harder to be away from her", I said out loud, startling everyone. I had forgotten that Jasper hadn't actually said anything aloud so it probably sounded as if I were talking to myself. I was absent-mindedly strumming my fingers across the piano keys, playing her lullaby.

"When will she be back, sweetie?", Esme said, as she came and sat next to me on the piano bench.

"She's coming home tomorrow. Then Alice is kidnapping her for her final dress fitting, and I will only see her for a few hours tomorrow night, because some people are forcing me to go to a _Bachelor Party_". I spat out the last words as if they were disgusting things, and Emmett and Jasper both chuckled.

"Well in a few days, you two will hardly ever be away from each other again. I know it seems impossible to be apart now, but you can't be together every second for the rest of eternity. I think your just so nervous now, because she's still so breakable", Esme said trying to soothe me.

"And don't even try to get out of your party, because you are going no matter what", Emmett said. _Not like you two will be doing anything interesting tomorrow night anyway._

I growled slightly.

_Awww… What's wrong Eddie? Can't handle a little teasing from big ol' Emmett? Did I upset you Eddie? Poor baby._

This time it was a full out growl and I was on top of Emmett in a fraction of a second. Rosalie screamed as I whizzed past her, and nearly took her down with us. I could feel Jasper sending waves of calm my way, but I was so mad, they helped little. Esme came over and pulled me off of Emmett. She was only successful because I knew it hurt her to see us fight like that, and hurting someone like Esme should certainly be a crime. I was in my room on my leather couch and I heard Esme come in right behind me.

"I'm sorry mom, I just lost it. I know he likes to rattle my cage, but he' just so _obscene_ sometimes. And I'm already frustrated. When we told Charlie that we had good news, he automatically assumed that Bella was pregnant". My face fell into a frown. "No one understands how much I wish that it were true. I feel so guilty all the time for taking that from her. I'm such a monster. But I can't live without her. Without her I'm completely hollow, just an empty shell…".

"Edward, you have to stop. Bella knows all these things. When you truly love someone, the way you two love each other, the things you give up to be with each other are nothing compared to the reward of just being together. If it weren't what Bella wanted, she wouldn't be so happy around you. She glows every time she's with you. Even Jasper said he has never felt feelings as strong as the ones you two share. When she says it's worth it, he said she means it. He feels no hesitation from her. She feels like she isn't worthy of you. You are both so silly, you were meant to be together, so let it be. Stop second guessing things."

With that she kissed my forehead and headed out the door.


	2. Long Night

_**Disclaimer: I am not the wonderful Stephenie Meyer, and unfortunately I hold no claim over Edward or any of the Twilight Saga characters, or the storylines themselves, unless there is something you read that wasn't in the series. **_

_**A/N: Thank you all so much for your feedback, I'm glad you all like the story so much. I will try to update as often as I can, but I just got a new job and college is starting in like two weeks. But I promise to try to update at least weekly, hopefully more! Hint Hint: When people review, it makes me excited and makes me want to write more. Thanks much!**_

_**Lots of Love,**_

_**Alicia**_

_I miss you already", Bella whimpered to me, as we spent what little time we had together before my __Bachelor Party_. It was all so ridiculous…

"I don't need to leave. I can stay…" It's not like I couldn't convince Jasper to let me stay, and fight Emmett off. I'd rather be here and never leave, except for the wedding.

"Mmm."

It was very quiet as we lay there, Bella's heart beating unbelievably fast, and our ragged breathing was the only sounds that filled the room.

I felt like I could get so wrapped up in just laying here with her, that I would be perfectly content here for all of eternity. It was so natural to Bella to be kissing me, and even though I had gotten over the instinct to kill her, kissing her was still like inhaling red hot coals. But I would rather inhale those hot coals than be without kissing her.

She opened her eyes, and blushed slightly when she realized that I had been staring at her. To see her here, absolutely in love with me… there aren't even words. I feel like I have more than any man should ever deserve. When I stared into those beautiful chocolate brown eyes, it was like I could see straight into her soul. I only wished she could see a soul when she looked into mine.

Of course she could see emotions, and she claimed a soul too, but I still wasn't totally convinced. Only a soulless person could take the life of someone so pure, no matter what the reason. But if we could spend eternity together, whatever price I had to pay for killing her I would gladly pay.

Bella pulled my face into hers again, and I gladly obliged.

"Definitely staying", I murmured in her ear.

"No, no. It's your bachelor party. You have to go". As she spoke, the fingers of her right hand tangled themselves in my hair and her left and pressed into the small of my back, pressing her even closer to me. As if this would help me leave!

I stroked her face with my hand. "Bachelor parties are designed for those who are sad to see the passing of their single days. I couldn't be more eager to have mine behind me. So there's really no point", I told her in pure honesty. I couldn't be happier to be marrying this beautiful woman wrapped in my arms.

"True", she breathed against my throat.

The feeling of her warm breath against my throat was almost enough to drive me mad with my desire for her. She was under the impression that I did not feel a need for her in the teen induced hormone way she felt a need for me. I had to fight my urges for her constantly, and she never made it any easier.

Being here in her room, it was like our own little paradise. Charlie slept, completely unaware of my presence, in his room down the hall. Bella and I were about as alone as we have ever been when we are here. Even if we go in the room and shut the door at my house, it's not like being truly alone. The family can hear every word we say, even if it is in the softest whisper.

Bella was wrapped tightly in an afghan, so that our close proximity didn't make her cold, and I was bare chested with my arms around her. She began tracing the planes in my chest, trailing down to my stomach. Her touch left a warm trail of dangerous desire behind it. A shudder and a strong wave of desire ripped through me, and I grabbed her as gently as I could and molded my mouth to hers.

I felt Bella's tongue start tracing lightly over my lips, and I exhaled sharply. I started to pull away, because that was the only way that I knew how to stay in control when she made me feel this way. Not only was Bella purposefully testing my self-control every chance she got, I had spent most of my life shying away from any kind of emotional or physical expression, and some days its harder than others to change my old ways.

"Wait", she said as she gripped onto my shoulders, pressing herself as close to me as possible. She kicked a leg free from the afghan she was wound so tightly in, and hitched it up around my waist. "Practice makes perfect", she said in almost a seducible tone. Was she trying to drive me insane? As if it wasn't hard enough to resist her, without her so eager to undermine my self control.

I laughed to hide my slightly panicked state, hoping she wouldn't try to push me much further. "Well we should be fairly close to perfection by this point, then, shouldn't we? Have you slept at all in the last month?" I noticed the faint circles under her eyes.

"But this is the dress rehearsal and we've only practiced certain scenes. It's no time for playing safe". It took every ounce of self control I had to just momentarily shut down and re-calm myself. I couldn't really be angry with her when I wanted the same thing, but I couldn't allow myself to loose control with her. Us actually being together would be so dangerous… I could kill her.

"Bella…" I whispered trying to find the right words. She knew that I wanted her just as bad, but her safety was my only reason for hesitating. But sometimes she felt a bit rejected, and I hated seeing her feel that way.

"Don't start again. A deal's a deal", she said defiantly.

I could almost scream with all the frustration I felt. "I don't know. It's too hard to concentrate when you're with me like this. II cant think straight. I won't be able to control myself. You'll get hurt", I said admitting some of my deepest fears. If I hurt her, I couldn't live with myself.

"I'll be fine."

"Bella…", I nearly groaned in frustration. She was so stubborn. She wouldn't even try to see it from my point of view.

"Shh!" she hissed, putting a halt to the rant I felt coming. She pressed her lips to mine, and I kissed her back. But only half-heartedly.

"How are your feet?" I asked desperate to distract her.

"Toasty warm", she answered with a slight sarcastic edge to her tone.

"Really? No second thoughts? Its not too late to change your mind", I warned her. If she wanted to call off the wedding I could live with that. If she decided she wanted to be human a little longer, I would be ecstatic.

But of course Bella is just Bella.

"Are you trying to ditch me?" She feigned a hurt expression.

I couldn't help but laugh at her sarcasm. "Just making sure. I don't want you to do anything you're not sure about."

"I'm sure about you. The rest I can live through."

I pondered her words for a moment. She seemed as if she placed no value at all to her human life, and for some strange reason this made me feel like more of a monster. She was like a lamb to the slaughter. So innocent…

"Can you?" I asked in almost a strangled voice. "I don't mean the weddingwhich I am positive you will survive despite your qualmsbut afterward… what about Renée, what about Charlie?"

She sighed. "I'll miss them."

"Angela and Ben and Jessica and Mike."

"I'll miss my friends too", she said, suddenly smiling to herself in the darkness. "Especially Mike. Oh, Mike! How will I go on?" I knew she was trying hard to stifle a giggle, and a low growl echoed through my chest.

She laughed quickly, but then fell serious again. "Edward, we've been through this and through this. I know it will be hard, but this is what I want. I want you, and I want you forever. One lifetime is simply not enough for me."

I felt almost sick again. "Frozen for ever at eighteen."

She tried to ease my obviously sad mood by teasing. "Every woman's dream."

"Never changing… never moving forward."

"What does that mean?" she said in a bit of an icy tone.

I thought a moment before answering. Once again I wasn't sure how she would react. "Do you remember when we told Charlie that we were getting married? And he thought you were… pregnant?"

A smile spread across her face. "And he thought about shooting you", she guessed. "Admit itfor one second, he honestly considered it."

I sat in silence. Would she understand what I was going to say?

"What, Edward?"

I proceeded slowly. "I just wish… well, I wish that he'd been right."

"Gah," she gasped loudly.

"More that there was some way he _could _have been. That we had that kind of potential. I _hate_ taking that away from you, too."

She hesitated for a moment. At least she was actually giving it real thought. "I know what I'm doing", came her response in a confident tone.

"How could you know that, Bella? Look at my mother, look at my sister. It's not as easy a sacrifice as you imagine." Bella knew what Rose had been through. She knew it wasn't that easy. It was as if she was just trying to placate me.

"Esme and Rosalie get by just fine. If it's a problem later, we'll do what Esme didwe'll adopt."

I sighed, almost truly annoyed. Like I could just change someone else, damn someone else to this eternity of night because Bella and I needed a pet to occupy our time. Not that I had any rash feelings towards Carlisle for changing me, it's just that he would only do it if they were dying.

"It's not _right_!" my voice came out fierce. "I want to give you things, not take things away from you. I don't want to steal your future. If I were human"

She placed her hand over my lips, and stopped me mid-rant. "_You_ are my future. Now stop. No moping, or I'm calling your brothers to come and get you. Maybe you _need_ a bachelor party."

When she put it like that I felt bad. "I'm sorry. I am moping, aren't I? Must be the nerves."

"Are _your_ feet cold?"

I could almost laugh at the irony in that question. "Not in that sense. I've been waiting a century to marry you, Miss Swan. The wedding ceremony is the one thing I can' wait" I broke off mid-sentence. _Hey Eddie bear, we're here to collect the bachelor! And don't be mad… I KNOW I'm not interrupting anything special. Haha._ "Oh, for the love of all that's holy!", I spat.

Bella was still trying to figure out what had happened. "What's wrong?"

I gritted my teeth and tried to ignore Emmett's loud thoughts. "You don't have to call my brothers. Apparently Emmett and Jasper are not going to let me bow out tonight". She realized what I was saying, and clutched onto me harder for a moment, and then released me.

"Have fun", she said with mock enthusiasm.

Then there was an irritatingly loud squeal against the window. Like someone scratching their nails on a chalk board. In this case however, it was Emmett scratching his nails on Bella's window. Bella got goose bumps all over due to the cacophonous sound.

"If you don't send Edward out," Emmett hissed through the window, "we're coming in after him."

Bella giggled. "Go. _Before _they break my house."

I rolled my eyes, but got to my feet none the less and put on my shirt. Then I bent down and kissed my beautiful angel on the forehead. "Go to sleep. You've got a big day tomorrow."

"Thanks!" she muttered sarcastically, "That's sure to help wind me down."

"I'll meet you at the altar."

"I'll be the one in white."

I had to stifle a laugh. She really was getting a lot faster with the comebacks and it was almost impossible to keep from laughing at her. In the end I gave up and let out a small chuckle, and murmured "Very convincing."

Then I sank down into a crouch, and leapt swiftly from her window, landing on the ground with a barely audible _thud_. It would have been impossible to hear my landing at all if I hadn't purposefully kicked Emmett in the face on the way down for his vulgar thoughts, causing him to curse and growl playfully at me.

"You'd better not make him late", I heard Bella murmur from inside the house, knowing that we would hear her.

Jasper jumped up the side of the house soundlessly so that he was hanging on Bella's windowsill. "Don't worry, Bella. We'll get him home in plenty of time", he said reassuring her, sending calming vibes over her as he did.

Then I heard her say, "Jasper?" in a tone suggesting she was a bit unsure about something. I listened hard. "What do vampires do for bachelor parties? Your not taking him to the strip club, are you?" she asked in an almost embarrassed tone.

Emmett almost let out a huge laugh, but I elbowed him in the stomach before he could get to it. "Don't tell her anything!", he growled at Jasper the second he regained his composure.

"Relax", Jasper said in a soothing tone. "We Cullens have our own version. Just a few mountain lions, a couple of grizzly bears. Pretty much an ordinary night out."

"Thanks, Jasper", I heard Bella murmur before laying back down in her bed.

* * *

"So, Eddie, how does it feel knowing that tomorrow your gonna be a married man and all that jazz?", Emmett asked me nonchalantly as we raced through the night.

The wind in my hair was exhilarating. "It feels amazing. It's so exciting to know that now Bella and I will actually be legally linked together. All of my life, I never believed in love", _What!_, Jasper's thoughts interrupted me, "Jasper I believed in the kind of love that you feel for family, but to be honest I thought that all of you were just to afraid to be alone, so you pretended to love someone.

"I always thought that I had everything I would ever need in myself. That way I would never have to worry about trusting someone else, or depending on someone else. It just seemed easier", I said with a shrug.

"But you are glad you found someone you love, now.", Jasper concluded.

"Yeah. The only thing that upsets me about Bella, is how misconstrued her self-image is. She doesn't see her self very clearly at all. How beautiful, or smart, or caring, or selfless she is. Even before I realized I was in love with her, I knew that she had one of the most beautiful souls I had ever seen."

"Ugh", Emmett made a disgusted sound in his throat. "Enough of the lifetime movie. This is supposed to be a _Bachelor Party_. Not a slumber party for thirteen year old girls."

I couldn't help but laugh as Emmett compared the conversation that Jasper and I were carrying as a slumber party. Even though Emmett loved Rosalie so absolutely, he never much patience for romance. Come to think of it, Emmett never had much patience for anything that didn't involve violence… or alone time with Rose.

It's so much easier to be around you met Bella, Edward. Jasper's thoughts came drifting to me, as I tried to block Emmett's out. He was remembering things about his honeymoon that I just didn't want to hear.

Your aura is just so much happier than before. Unless your away from her, then you make me a nervous wreck, too. But you seem pretty relaxed tonight, and Bella was very happy, too. She was slightly anxious, but who can blame her? She did give Alice full reign over her wedding. Even though Alice is my wife, she terrifies me too, he added with a smile.

We were up in Canada now, and Emmett said "All right girls, time for the cute little giggles and diary readings to stop. I'm ready to catch me a bear."

As he said this my senses locked onto the scent he spoke of. There were about three grizzlies in the field to our far left, and the scent made my mouth flood with venom, and my throat ache.

I crouched down into my hunting position, and stalked across the clearing. The biggest grizzly of the three had wandered off to the side, sniffing for food. I inhaled deep, breathing in the delicious scent, feeling the burning in my throat get stronger as well as an increased flow of venom.

I was ready for the kill.

Taking only one silent step forward, I launched myself at the massive bear, and had his neck snapped in a fraction of a second, watching as he fell to the ground at my feet.

I heard Emmett curse behind me. I had to stifle a laugh at the look on his face. He had apparently been stalking the same bear, and he hated it if he didn't get the biggest catch. Emmett had an unhealthy appetite for competition.

Leaning down, I locked my teeth into the neck of the giant grizzly, and quickly drained it.

Just as I was about to finish up, Emmett came whizzing by and slapped the back of my head , causing a few drops of blood to splatter on my shirt. "Damn it", I growled.

"Aww… Did Edddie get a stain on his blouse?", Emmett roared with laughter. I'm almost positive I heard Jasper stifle a laugh as well. Even though, I hate to admit it, Emmett's witty remarks can be hilarious, I was not about to let him just make fun of me all night.

"You know, Emmett", I said sinking into my crouch once more, "There are no rosebushes that need protection here. So how about we settle our earlier argument? Better yet, why don't we make it a bet?" I knew he would take the bait. Emmett couldn't resist a good bet, or a fight.

"Okay, what do you want?", Emmett said, his face lit up like a small child's on Christmas morning.

"Hmm.. If I win, we get to take you home and let Alice give you a make-over", I said smiling. Alice would be so excited, this would be one of the one times I would love for her to get carried away.

Emmett's face scrunched up in concentration, as he tried to think of something as equally humiliating for me if I lost. Then his face lit up. "If I win… You have to put on one of Alice's dresses, and stand outside Bella's window and sing 'I Feel Pretty'." He grinned triumphantly. This would be like a championship match.

Jasper counted to three, and the fight began.

It was a pretty fair fight. Of course Emmett was stronger… but I was faster. I took off like a bullet and was racing around the field. Every time he thought he had a good grip on me, I would slip away in the knick of time. I was _not_ wearing a dress to sing at Bella's window.

Then I had a brilliant idea. I turned on Emmett, who was chasing me, and began flying in circles around him. I picked up so much speed, that I just became a blur as I whizzed around him. The dumbfounded look on his face as he tried to keep up with my blurred figure was just… priceless.

Finally I pounced once I was sure he was looking for me in front of him when I was in the back. I slammed into him, with a crash that sounded like thunder, and took him to the grass covered earth. Quickly I grabbed a hold of his massive arms and twisted them both like a pretzel so that they were pinned behind his arms. He struggled, thrashing against me, but then stopped.

I had won.

I stood up and smiled triumphantly. Emmett had never been so pissed about loosing something, so I couldn't resist rubbing it in.

"Aww… don't be sad Emma, you'll look beautiful when Alice is done with you", I said shaking with laughter, as Jasper let out a booming laugh that echoed around the clearing.

"Funny, Eddie", he muttered as he stood up and began brushing himself off.

"Well at least you will be well exfoliated for the wedding Em.", Jasper said still howling with laughter, making me chuckle.

"All right, All right. Let's go. We have to get home to help out with the wedding", Emmett said. By this point it was around 11:00 a.m.

We took off running and made it home by twelve.

**A/N: So I hope you guys like this new chapter, but I need help deciding something. I am rereading breaking dawn to help me plan for future chapters, and I'm confused about what to do with Jacob's book. I was thinking about maybe doing it in Bella's POV instead, but would you rather see it in Edward's? I have no aversion to doing either, so just let me know what you guys think. Your input really helps. Thanks again.**


	3. Big Day

**Disclaimer: I am not the wonderful Stephenie Meyer, and unfortunately I hold no claim over Edward or any of the Twilight Saga characters, or the storylines themselves, unless there is something you read that wasn't in the series. **

**A/N: Sorry for the long time between updates, but I have been really busy with my new job, and getting read for college. My classes start Sept. 2 so I will try to write as much as I can before then, but I will keep writing then too it will just take a little longer. From what I heard back about Jacob's book, most of you said that you wanted me to just keep going with EPOV. When I get to that point I'll need a lot of feed back and support. For a person as happy and bubbly as me, it will be hard to write such depressing stuff. So here's chapt. 3 hope you like it. Sorry its so short, but it was short in the book too. **

**Love,**

**Alicia**

Once we got back into the house, I realized that it was pure chaos. Esme was whizzing around the house so fast that she was no more than a blur, and it looked as if wedding decorations were hanging themselves.

Of course Emmett was glad for the chaotic state that our house was in. That meant that he couldn't pay up for his loss right away. "Don't worry little Emma" I teased as I heard his thoughts, "You'll just have to pay up later."

He scowled at me, then walked away muttering under his breath.

There was a purely intoxicating smell around the house. A strangely sensuous mix of orange blossoms, lilac, freesia and roses filled the air. The freesias reminded me of how amazing Bella smelled to me.

A pang of sadness trilled through me.

Bella was upstairs. Not even a hundred feet away, and I couldn't see her. Of course, I could see her. But being murdered by the angry pixie, that was no doubt torturing her with cosmetics, didn't sound like a good idea when I was just hours from getting everything I ever dreamed of.

Then again, I was surprised that something hasn't prevented this whole ordeal yet, for I was getting far more happiness than any one man should ever deserve.

"Edward", came Esme's voice from around the corner. "Would you help your brothers carry chairs in and set them up? Then you boys can help set up all of the tables and chairs in the backyard, and by the time you boys finish, it will be time for you to get dressed."

"Sure, Mom" I said as I headed out the back door.

_Edward, you seem tense. Is everything ok?_ Jasper's thoughts came to my mind, as I felt a wave of calm wash away my anxieties. "Yeah, Jasper, I just feel like things are perfect. Too perfect. Is it actually _fair_ for me to be so… so… _happy_?"

Jasper laughed at me. "That's what's got you so anxious? That you think you're happier than you're _allowed _to be? Edward, just roll with the punches. If you have been given all of this happiness than just sit back and appreciate it. People would give everything to feel the way you feel right now, so just be happy. You deserve it after so many years of feeling so empty."

" Thanks, Jasper. You're a lifesaver."

_Oh gosh, not another lifetime movie moment_, Emmett thought snickering.

"Shut up, Emmett. I'm sure we could convince Alice to fit your little make-over in before the wedding, if you want". His smile vanished quickly.

"So Bella's really clueless about the honeymoon?", he asked, changing the subject. "I'm surprised Alice hasn't blabbed yet. You know how she is with secrets."

"Hey, that's my wife your talking about", Jasper added playfully, knowing that Emmett was right. Alice was never one to tell a good secret too.

We all joked around and carried on, causing time to fly by. The backyard was already set up, and the guests would be arriving any moment. I was alone for the first time all day, as I went upstairs to my room to get dressed, and I tried to savor this time to think.

I had a permanent smile glued to my face all day, and I was practically glowing. Even as I looked into the mirror, the person staring back at me was a stranger. My family was right. I had never been so happy.

I put my tux on and was standing in front of the mirror, when Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper, and Esme came in. I assumed that Alice and Rose were with my Bella.

_Need a few tips for the honeymoon, Eddie?_

"No thank you" I growled at Emmett. "It would be great if you could just stop thinking all together"

"Okay, okay. I was just trying to be brotherly and all" Emmett muttered.

Catching on to the part of the conversation she had missed, Esme slapped the back of Emmett's head hard. "What did I say? I told you to leave him alone about that" Esme said as she smiled at me apologetically.

"So, are you ready son? It's about time we head down"

I nodded and headed towards the door, and Esme reached out and dragged me over to her, pulling me into a tight hug. "I'm so happy for you", she sobbed with no trace of a tear on her face. Though I knew that if it were possible for vampires to cry, she would be crying like a baby.

As I walked down the stairs with my family, I glanced around again at what used to be our house. Now it was a beautiful recreation of a wedding hall.

White folding chairs were lined up, a;; draped with gossamer and flowers along the center aisle. The stairs had a white carpet running down the center that led to a beautiful arch, that was also covered in gossamer and twinkle lights. I think that this was the first time in my life that I had ever really appreciated the fact that Alice had gotten carried away. I could hear the thoughts of our guests as they began filing in, and they seemed to think along the same lines.

_Oh my! These Cullens sure know how to decorate, its beautiful in here._

_Wow, Bella is so lucky to have found such a wonderful family._

_Edward and Bella will look so beautiful standing up there._

Then one voice was thinking far from what the others were.

_Stupid, Cullen. Bella was supposed to be mine. I saw her first. He didn't even look like he liked her, he was looking at her like he hated her the first time they met. He only wanted her because he knew I did. All the times I've imagined Bella tangled up with me…_

I had to start humming to myself very loudly, or I knew that I would kill Mike Newton in front of all the guests. Jasper felt the sudden shift in my mood, and heard me humming so loudly, that he shot me a quizzical look. _Edward, what's wrong?_

I clenched my jaw tightly, and nodded my head swiftly in Mike's direction. How dare he come to our _wedding_ and start having his little fantasies about Bella?

Jasper understood immediately, because I had told him before about Mike and his stupid little fantasies that almost made me angry enough to kill him just so he was dead. I wouldn't even drink from him, just kill him.

Renée and Esme came walking down the steps and took their seats, and I knew that it was almost time.

Rosalie, the best musician in the family besides me, was at the piano and began softly playing the first notes of Pachelbel's Canon.

I heard faint talking upstairs, and I listened harder. Alice was trying to calm Bella down, from what I could catch over all of the other voices in my head. _She's just nervous, Edward._ Alice reassured me.

The song Rosalie was playing faded out and then Wagner's traditional wedding march began playing. The crowd grew silent and moments later Alice came gliding down the steps. She smiled at me, and I noticed her mind was carefully distracted. She wanted me to see Bella for myself, not through someone else's eyes.

I waited patiently for Bella and Charlie to get far enough down the steps that I could see them, and when the did I froze.

Bella was the only thing in the world that mattered in the moment. Everything else faded away. The things I was robbing her of, the treaty, Mike's inappropriate thoughts, everything. It all just faded away, and I was so happy it was hard to breathe.

She was like a vision from a human dream. Her dress was absolutely gorgeous and it looked like anything someone in my time would wear to be married. Though she always looked beautiful to me, at this moment she was simply breath taking.

Jasper looked around to make sure everyone was staring at Bella, the swiftly kicked my leg. _Breathe, Edward._ I couldn't help but smile.

I could tell by the way Bella's eyes darted around the room that she was looking for me. She was momentarily distracted by the decorations, but when her eyes locked onto mine, she refused to look away. I smiled so wide that I'm sure if I were human the muscles in my face would ache. I felt as if at any moment my heart would swell to big for my chest and burst out onto the floor. Once again I found myself wishing I could hear her thoughts.

When she and Charlie reached the end of the aisle, Charlie placed her hand in mine, and her face lit up. Then Charlie stepped aside and the ceremony began.

Our vows were the traditional ones, that had been spoken for millions of times, for millions of couples. Angela's father was the minister that married us, and he had obliged when we asked him to change the line that read "Till death do us part", to "As long as we both shall live".

All of my worries slowly dissolved yet again, as I stared into Bella's eyes. She looked as if she had just been given everything she had ever wanted out of life. I was sure that in my centuries as a vampire and my years as a human, I had never experienced the feelings I felt in this very moment. I was so happy that it almost hurt. It felt almost wrong to have so much when so many had so little but I had accepted long ago, when I first met Bella, that I was a selfish creature.

Tears began to roll down Bella's cheeks as she smiled up at me. She looked somewhat startled when she realized that her line was up, and she managed to choke out "I do", through her tears. No other words in the world could have meant so much to me.

Then came my turn to speak. "I do" the words came out clearly, victoriously. Now Bella and I belonged to each other in a quantifiable, tangible way.

Bella blinked her eyes, trying to clear away the tears that were now clouding her vision. Mr. Webber declared us husband and wife, and I reached up to cradle her face in my hands, carefully. My one true love was still very breakable.

I couldn't believe that she was actually _mine_. All of the horrors we had faced together, and she still loved me enough to stand here today and become my wife. All the danger I had put her in, and she still loved me.

Then I bent down towards her, and she reached up on her toes, so that we could share our first kiss as husband and wife. We had been to hell and back together, and we were still here today. Still totally in love. When our lips met, it was like an electric current flowing through me. For almost a moment, I could have sworn that my long silent heart had let out a few beats. Bella threw hear arms around me and pulled herself to me as close as she could.

I kissed her tenderly, and adoringly. The thoughts came floating toward me from the crowd, that Bella had thrown herself a little to eagerly. Emmett chuckled under her breath, as people began to clear their throats, as our kiss was a little too passionate for our audience. I could see that Bella wasn't going to stop. I had began the kiss, and now I would have to end it to.

Very gently I pushed Bella away, smirking at how she had thrown herself at me, and completely forgotten our audience. Although my expression was teasing her on the surface, I knew by the look in her eyes that she could see the burning passion in mine.

The crowd then erupted into applause, and Bella refused to drop her gaze from mine. But when Renée wrapped her arms around Bella she had no choice, and as soon as she reluctantly looked away from me, she tightened her grip on my hand. People hugged her over and over again, and shook hands with me, but I could tell she wasn't really paying attention, she was focused on me.

Despite my overly joyful mood, when I seen my friend Seth Clearwater come up to congratulate Bella and I, haunting memories of Bella and Jacob came to mind. I know she loves me more, but it doesn't change the fact that he will always have a piece of her heart that I never can.


	4. Gesture

_**Disclaimer: I am not the wonderful Stephenie Meyer, and unfortunately I hold no claim over Edward or any of the Twilight Saga characters, or the storylines themselves, unless there is something you read that wasn't in the series. **_

_**A/N: Yay! Chapter 4, which I am proud to say is over 5,000 words long! I worked my butt off on this chapter, and just to make sure I know my readers appreciate it, you should leave me reviews and what not. **__**J**__** If you have any suggestions, or you don't like something I did, feel free to let me know. Constructive criticism is much appreciated. Thanks to all my dedicated readers, I'm looking forward to your reviews. **_

_**Love, **_

_**Alicia**_

_Exactly as Alice had planned, the wedding flowed perfectly into the reception. It was just now twilight over the river, as all of the guests got up and headed out back. I led Bella out back through the glass doors_

_Our friends surrounded us, congratulating us once again. Seth was among the first to find his way over to us. "Congrats, guys" he said as he ducked under some of the decorations. _

_At his flanks were his mother Sue, and Billy Black. Sue was a strange looking woman with a severe haircut, and I was growing angry with her thoughts. _

_I can's believe Seth wanted to come here. What a disgrace, a human marrying a vampire! For crying out loud. Bella would have been better off with Jacob, over this reeking vampire any day. He will be the death of her, watch and see._

I stopped listening before my temper could get the better of me. Billy was chanting over and over again in his head that he was happy for Bella, and even though I didn't believe it, it was a nice gesture. He knew the gift I had, and was gentlemanly enough to try not to think negatively about the wedding around me.

Then Seth leaned forward with his arms extended to me, and I hugged him with my free arm, keeping the other wrapped around Bella. Sue shuddered at the fact that her _werewolf_ son had just hugged his _vampire friend_.

"Its good to see things work out for you, man. I'm happy for you." Every thought in Seth's head told me that what he said was far from a lie. It was the absolute truth.

"Thank you, Seth. That means a lot to me" I said, as I pulled free of the embrace. The difference in temperatures made it only slightly uncomfortable. I turned to look at Sue and Billy. "Thank you as well. For letting Seth come. For supporting Bella today."

"You're welcome" Billy answered, and his voice sounded almost optimistic. But I knew it was just to make Bella feel better.

A line began to form, so Seth said goodbye, allowing others to congratulate us yet again.

Angela and Ben were next, followed by Angela's parents, then Mike and Jessica, who were holding hands. Both of them made me sick. The presented themselves as a couple, but Mike was almost screaming his fantasies about Bella at me, and Jessica was thinking of how much she would love to take Bella's place on the honey moon. I had to stop listening before her thoughts made me sick, if only she would just realize that I would _never_ touch her.

After Mike and Jessica walked away, Tanya was standing in front of us, her arms outstretched to me. Eleazar, Carmen and Kate were behind her. I was unsurprised that Irina was absent.

Tanya hugged me, a little too long for my liking, then said "Ah, Edward. I've missed you" Her thoughts began tracing back to when we lived in Denali, and the attraction she felt for me. I chuckled uncomfortably, and slipped out of her grasp and put my arm around Bella, once again.

"It's been too long, Tanya. You look well."

"So do you."

"Let me introduce you to my wife." Saying the word for the first time since we had become man and wife, made me swell once more with joy. Tanya and the others laughed at my tone. "Tanya, this is my Bella."

Tanya appraised Bella for one long moment, careful with her thoughts because she knew I was listening, then she held out her hand and took Bella's. "Welcome to the family, Bella" she said with a warm smile. "We consider ourselves Carlisle's extended family, and I _am_ sorry about the, er, recent incident when we did not behave as such. Can you forgive us?"

She sounded sincere and her thoughts matched her words. "Of course" Bella answered her a little breathlessly. I had to try not to laugh at her. "It's so nice to meet you."

"The Cullens are all evened up in numbers now. Perhaps it will be our turn next, eh, Kate?" Tanya said grinning at Kate. _Bite me_. Kate thought, flashing me a little smile, knowing I heard her.

"Keep the dream alive" she said rolling her eyes, as she took Bella's hand from Tanya's. "Welcome, Bella."

Carmen stepped forward and put her hand on top of Kate's, smiling. "I'm Carmen, this is Eleazar. We're all so very pleased to finally meet you."

"M-me, too" Bella stuttered. I looked up at the trees trying to keep from outwardly laughing and making Bella mad at me.

Tanya glanced at the humans behind her, Charlie's co-workers, and smiled. Then she turned back to Bella. "We'll get to know each other later. We'll have _eons_ of time for that!" she laughed as they all turned away.

Of course, as planned, all of the familiar traditions were kept. Bella and I had to smile and be blinded by flashing cameras, for what seemed like millions of pictures. We cut the cake and then took turns shoving it in each others faces. To Bella I'm sure it tasted amazing, to me it was horrible, and I knew I would have to throw it up later. Bella stared in disbelief.

Bella threw her bouquet and I could tell by the way she threw it that she wanted Angela to catch it. Much to my surprise, she did. I chuckled a little as Emmett's thoughts echoed my own. _Bella actually managed to throw it right to Angela? Maybe all this time around us vamps has made her a little more graceful. Ha-ha._

I ducked down under Bella's dress and removed her garter, which was almost at her ankle, with my teeth. Emmett and Jasper were roaring with laughter, at the deep blush that stained Bella's cheeks. Once again Mike Newton's vile thoughts invaded my mind, and I carefully shot the garter right in his face.

Music began to play, and I pulled Bella onto the dance floor for our first dance as husband and wife. Even though Bella was a horrible dancer, she looked amazing as we danced together. Thankfully, her dress was long enough that the guests wouldn't notice that she was standing on my feet.

"Enjoying the party, Mrs. Cullen?" I asked her, loving the way the name just rolled off my tongue.

Bella laughed, a beautiful happy laugh. "That will take a while to get used to".

"We have a while" I reminded her, getting excited thinking that we would be together for eternity. Then I leaned down to kiss her as we danced, and I could hear the cameras clicking away.

The song changed and Charlie tapped me on the shoulder. Even if I couldn't hear his thoughts, I would have known that he was coming for his dance with Bella. I walked away and danced with Esme and Kate. Bella was dancing with tons of people, and it was only when I heard Mike thinking of how amazing it felt to have Bella in his arms did I decide to cut in. She was just married for crying out loud, someone give the boy a clue.

I tapped him on the shoulder and quickly, yet gently, stole Bella out of his arms. "Still not fond of Mike, eh?" she asked smiling.

"Not when I have to listen to his thoughts. He's lucky I didn't kick him out. Or worse." I would have really preferred the latter. That involved Emmett using Mike as a punching bag. Not that I couldn't do it myself, but Emmett would enjoy it much more.

"Yeah, right" Bella answered sarcastically. Why did she always doubt the fact that she was so beautiful? Was it really so hard for her to believe?

"Have you had a chance to look at yourself?" I tried to keep from being angry with her for not realizing what a beautiful creature she truly was.

"Um. No, I guess not. Why?"

"Then I suppose you don't realize how utterly, heartbreakingly beautiful you are tonight. I'm not surprised that Mike's having difficulty with improper thoughts about a married woman. I _am_ disappointed that Alice didn't make sure you were forced to look into a mirror." How could Alice not make Bella look at herself? It was preposterous for her to not see how beautiful she looked.

"You are very biased, you know."

I sighed and then quickly spun her around so that we were facing the glass wall, which reflected the party like a giant mirror. Then I pointed at our reflections. "Biased, am I?"

She stared first at my reflection, and I was about to say something, when she turned her attention to her own reflection. A look of disbelief crossed her face, as if I had placed some sort of trick mirror in front of her. Finally, she would have to believe me when I said she was beautiful.

_Edward, I'm here for Bella._

"Oh!" I let out a small sound of surprise, for I had not been expecting to hear the voice off Jacob Black for a while. Even though it broke my heart to think of the connection they shared, I broke into a smile knowing how happy this would make Bella.

"What is it?" she asked with a nervous edge to her voice.

"A surprise wedding gift."

"Huh?"

I didn't answer, I just took her in my arms again and started dancing back the way we had come from. Towards where Jacob stood in the shadows.

"Thank you. This is very… kind of you." My words rang true. It was kind of Jacob to come support Bella. I knew all to well the pain it must be causing him, because I felt a small pang of pain whenever she looked at him and her face lit up like a light bulb.

"Kind is my middle name. Can I cut in?"

Comprehension dawned on Bella's face, and her hand flew up to her throat in surprise. "Jacob! Jacob!" She managed to choke out the minute she could breathe. I knew that if I hadn't still had a firm grasp on her, she would have fallen over.

"Hey there, Bells."

Bella began to stumble forward, and I made sure to keep my hand under her elbow supporting her as she made her way to Jacob.

Jacob reached out and took Bella into a hug. He made no efforts to dance, he just stood there and hugged her while she buried her face in his chest. Another twinge of pain ripped through me, seeing how much she still loved him.

"Rosalie won't forgive me if she doesn't get her official turn on the dance floor" I said giving Bella a wedding gift of my own. I was giving her time alone with her best friend.

I walked over an took Rosalie's hand and began dancing with her. _Edward what's wrong?_, her thoughts came drifting to me. I shook my head slightly and she let it go. We were into our third song, when I heard Bella and Jacob arguing. _He's going to sleep with her while she's still human? He'll kill her. That stupid filthy bloodsucker. How can he play such games with her life?! I knew she was Better with me!_

I released Rosalie and began across the floor at human speed, given all of the guests.

"Ow, Jake! Let go!"

Then I seen her shake her, and I began to loose it. "Bella! Have you lost your mind? You can't be that stupid! Tell me your joking!", he yelled at her. He shook her again.

"Jakestop!"

I felt people coming to the same area that I was, trying to quietly diffuse the situation. "Take you hands off her!" My voice rang out, ice cold, sharp as daggers. Behind Jacob I heard two snarls.

"Jake, bro, back away" Seth told him gently, yet sternly. "You're loosing it"

Jacob seemed to stand there, dumbfounded and not releasing his grip on Bella. I could hear her heart pounding in her chest.

"You'll hurt her. Let her go." Seth whispered gently.

Jacob still didn't move and I lost my patience. "Now!" I snarled at him.

Finally he dropped his hands to his sides, and as soon as he did, I rushed forward and grabbed Bella, taking her a few yards away from where Jacob was still standing. I stood in front of her, tensed and ready, in case Jacob decided to attack. His thoughts were so disoriented, there was no way to predict what he was capable of right now.

There were two wolves between Jacob and I, and Seth had his arms wrapped tightly around Jacob's quivering form, trying to drag him away. "C'mon , Jake. Let's go." Seth told him.

"I'll kill you." Jacob choked with rage. "I'll kill you myself! I'll do it now!" _You're going to destroy her you filthy selfish bloodsucker. She can never be happy with you. You are a disgrace and a waste of space. I wish you had died when Bella ran off to save you. Everyone in this world would be better off without monsters like you stealing the soul from people as precious as Bella!_

I was at the breaking point. I was ready for a fight. Jacob knew exactly which buttons to push. "Seth, get out of the way." I hissed.

_I wish you would, you soulless, heartless monster. I hope you rot in the deepest circle of hell after I dismember you and watch you burn_. Jacob thought viciously.

"Don't do it, Jake. Walk away. C'mon" Seth said still tugging on him.

Then the massive black wolf, that I knew was Sam, shoved his head against Jacob's chest was helping Seth drag him away. The three of them disappeared into the darkness, and Quil took off into the dark after them.

"I'm sorry" Bella whispered to Quil as he turned to the darkness, then stopped. .

"It's all right now, Bella" I murmured, trying to mollify her.

Quil stared at me, with a gaze that was unfriendly. _You know Jacob was right. Your taking a stupid risk._ I gave him a cold nod. Quil huffed at me, then turned and followed his brothers into the darkness.

_Edward, you better get back soon, no one has noticed anything yet, but they might start to get suspicious if the bride and groom are absent for too long_ Jasper thought.

"Alright" I said both to myself and Jasper, before turning to face Bella. "Let's get back"

"But Jake"

"Sam has him in hand. He's gone" I said cutting her off, hoping to stifle her worries. It was ridiculous to think I could stop them all together, but I wanted to just hold them off. She shouldn't be worrying tonight.

Of course, it was Bella we were talking about, making it impossible to stop her from worrying.

"Edward, I'm so sorry. I was stupid" I hated to heard her put herself down like this. It makes me sick to my stomach.

"You did nothing wrong" I began, but she cut me off, determined to be upset with herself. Determined to blame herself, like always.

"I have such a big mouth! Why would I… I shouldn't have let him get to me like that. What was I thinking?"

"Don't worry" I said touching her face, ever so gently. "We need to get back to the reception before someone notices our absence."

She shook her head, as if she were trying to get her vision straight again. I was almost positive, that until now, she had completely forgotten the time and place.

"Give me two seconds" she said pleading. She began smoothing her hands over her dress. "My dress?"

"You look fine. Not a hair out of place" I reassured her.

She took two deep breaths. "Okay. Let's go."

I put my arms around my beautiful bride, and led her towards the dance floor, cursing Jacob in the back of my mind for ruining this night for us. Once again I thought back to what I had said about Romeo. It seemed like the odds were always stacked against Bella and I. There was always someone determined to ruin what we have.

As we began dancing, I studied Bella's face. "Are you"

"I'm fine" she promised. "I can't believe I did that. What's wrong with me?"

I could feel my anger building. Jacob made her think terrible things about herself, he made her put herself down. I hated him for that. "Nothing is wrong with _you_" I replied as gently as I could. When I was being honest, I was more pissed at Jacob because what he'd said had merit. I was making stupid decisions and endangering Bella's life.

Bella was quiet for a long moment, and I knew that she was blaming herself. I didn't need to be able to read her mind to know that.

"It's over. Let's not think of it again tonight" I heard her say. But her voice sounded like it was far away. I was too caught up in what Jacob had said. How could I play with Bella's life like this? She was so fragile, so breakable. I could kill her in a second without even realizing it. I could feel her staring at me, but I was too lost in my own despair, I didn't pay any attention. Then she spoke again, and I snapped back to the present.

"Edward?" she asked in a tone that I knew meant that she was worried about me.

I closed my eyes and leaned down so my forehead was pressed against hers. "Jacob is right" I whispered to her, trying to hide the pure hatred that I held against myself for agreeing to sleep with her while she was still human. "What _am_ I thinking?"

"He is not" Bella said trying to keep her face relaxed, and not show the emotions bubbling inside her. But I wasn't really listening to her. She would say anything to get me to change my mind. "Jacob is way too prejudiced to see anything clearly."

"_Should _let him kill me for even thinking…" I mumbled so low I was sure Bella couldn't hear me. Yet again I was wrong.

"Stop it" she said fiercely, as she grabbed my face in her hands, and held them there until I opened my eyes and looked at her. "You and me. That's the only thing that matters. The only thing your allowed to think about now. Do you hear me?" she demanded.

"Yes" I said sighing softly.

"Forget Jacob came" she said and then paused for a moment. "For me. Promise me that you'll let this go." Her eyes were pleading with me, as I stared deep into them. I could get lost in those beautiful chocolate brown eyes, and there was no way I could refuse her when she pleaded with me this way. I had to do whatever I could to make her happy.

"I promise."

"Thank you. Edward, I'm not afraid" she said, meeting my gaze again.

"I am" I admitted, like a frightened child. I was terrified. If I hurt Bella, I couldn't live with myself. All my life I have tried to be the hero, and I just turned out to be a monster after all. Carlisle was right. We can't be heroes.

"Don't be" she replied as she took a deep breath and smiled. That smile was almost enough to melt the ice that had formed around my heart. "By the way, I love you."

I smiled slightly in return. "That's why we're here." I needed time to compose my thoughts, and Emmett answered my pleas.

"You're monopolizing the bride" he said as he came up behind me. _Figured you might need a few minutes to compose yourself. Jazz say's you feelings are pretty much all over the place._ "Let me dance with my little sister. This could be my last chance to make her blush" he added just to irritate Bella, I'm sure, because he let out a loud laugh. He took Bella from me, giving me the escape I needed.

I walked and sat down at a table that was empty, and was almost hidden in the shadows. It wasn't long before I was joined by Esme. I should have know she would be coming to offer motherly support.

"Edward, I know about what happened and I know what Jacob said. But he's hurting, Edward. You took the girl he loved from him. By beating yourself up, and wallowing in self-pity, your not loving Bella as much as you could. Then your letting him win. He wants you to feel this way. He wants you to push Bella away, and right into his arms."

I sat for a moment and contemplated what she had said. "But he's right, Esme. I'm taking such a risk with her life. I could kill her. How am I supposed to look at myself in the mirror every morning if I hurt her?" I couldn't bear to say the words _kill her_ out loud.

"It's what she wants. She knows the risk involved, Edward, and she still wants you. She knows the risk involved in marrying you, the war it could start. But she did it anyway, because she loves you, she loves you as much as you love her and she's willing to do anything to make it work. Even Renée, with dull human senses, can see that there is an abnormally strong bond between you two. You were made for each other. Simple as that."

"And if I hurt her? What then? What do I tell people? It makes me less of a monster because she asked for it?" I shook my head in disgust.

"Edward, you won't. If you only believed in yourself half as much as we do, a quarter as much as Bella does, you would see that. You have beaten the odds all the way around. The two of you were meant to be together. It's fate. If it wasn't, then you wouldn't be. You would have killed her that first day, she would have died in Phoenix, the Volturi would have killed her, Victoria would have killed her. The two of you have beaten the odds so many times, how could you even have a shadow of a doubt that you were meant to be together? Everything happens for a reason, always remember that."

In that moment, despite the fact that I have never been a physical person, when Esme hugged me, I fell into her arms like a child. I owed so much to this woman. She was, in all ways that truly counted, my mother. She has seen me at my worst, and loves me anyway, and she always knows what to say to guide me through my darkest times. If it were possible, I'm sure both of us would have been crying.

"Thank you so much, Mom" I said knowing it melted her heart whenever we called her that. She considered us her children, but she never asked to be seen as a mother in return. So it made her even happier when we thought of her as out mom.

She kissed my forehead, then said "I think you have a bride to dance with" as she smiled at me.

I kissed her on the cheek, and stood up and moved to walk away. "Oh, and Edward" she called, causing me to whip around to face her. "Remember what I said. _Everything _happens for a reason."

I smiled and made my way through the crowd back to my bride. When I finally reclaimed her, I wrapped my arms tightly around her. Time and time again I swore I could love her anymore than I did in that moment, and I was always proved wrong. I had never loved her as much as I did right now, in this moment. It was like a pure fairytale. She smiled and laid her head against my chest, and I held her tighter in response. Despite all the people around, we were having a very private intimate moment.

"I could get used to this" she said, breaking the silence.

Knowing what she meant, I decided to tease her anyway. "Don't tell me you've gotten over your dancing issues?"

"Dancing isn't so badwith you. But I was thinking more of this," she said holding me tighter, "of never having to let you go." I smiled.

"Never" I vowed to her. Then I leaned down to kiss her. It started out as slow and innocent, but then it built to a more passionate kiss and had a strong intensity. Bella and I had both forgotten where we were until, of course, Alice interrupted us.

"Bella! It's time!", I heard her call to Bella.

I tried to ignore my pixie of a sister, and continued kissing Bella, with more urgency this time, knowing that Alice wouldn't leave us alone until she got what she wanted. I could feel Bella's heart beat pick up and grow rapidly, as I kissed her more urgently. _Edward! Stop it, Bella needs to get changed!_ she shouted at me in her head.

"Do you want to miss you plane?" Alice demanded, as she stood right beside us now. "I'm sure you'll have a lovely honeymoon camped out in the airport waiting for another flight" she scolded us.

I turned my face slightly to wards Alice, to murmur "Go away, Alice" then went back to the matter at hand: kissing my beautiful bride. _Edward Anthony _Masen_ Cullen, you are not helping things at all! Stop this instant!_

"Bella, do you want to wear that dress on the airplane?" she demanded, still trying to strike a big enough nerve that would cause us to stop.

Then Alice let out a low growl when Bella didn't respond. "I'll tell her where you're taking her, Edward. So help me, I will." I froze. _Bingo! There's the threat I needed_ she thought as she watched my reaction.

I lifted my head from Bella's and glared at Alice. "You're awfully small to be so hugely annoying." I said knowing she hated to be picked on for her size.

"I didn't pick out the perfect going-away dress to have it wasted" she shot back at me. She then grabbed a hold of Bella's hand and said "Come with me, Bella."

Bella held on for dear life, and I couldn't help but chuckle silently at the look on Alice's face. If I weren't afraid of Alice ripping Bella in two, I would have never let go.

I followed them inside, and waited patiently at the bottom of the stairs, humming softly to myself, trying to block out all the thoughts in my head. That was the only think I hated about having so many guests. Then Bella descended the stairs, looking gorgeous in a blue ensemble. I held out my hand, and she took it, but leaned away in search of something.

"Dad?" she asked, as her eyes scoured the room.

"Over here" I murmured to her as I dragged her through the crowd to Charlie. When we found him, I was almost as surprised as Bella to see that he had been crying. After all, Charlie had never been big on emotions.

"Oh, Dad!" Bella exclaimed, as she threw her arms around his waist and began crying too. He patted her back, though only slightly uncomfortable.

"There, now. You don't want to miss your plane."

"I love you forever, Dad. Don't forget that" Bella told him. _Wow._

"You, too, Bells. Always have, always will." Charlie was growing slightly more uncomfortable, as they spoke their emotions out loud. They kissed each others cheeks at the same time, then Charlie said "Call me."

"Soon" Bella promised him.

"Go on, then. Don't want to be late" he said a little choked up.

The guests cleared a path as I held Bella close to me and we made our escape. "Are you ready?" I asked.

"I am." As soon as the words were out of her mouth, the passion burning in her eyes made me know it was true. I kissed Bella on the doorstep, and our audience burst into applause. Then I heard in several peoples thoughts that we were about to be bombarded with rice, and I rushed Bella to the car. Most of it missed us, but of course Emmett angled his just right so that it would ricochet off my back, and the whole handful would hit Bella.

The car was decorated with tons of flowers and streamers, and gossamer linked dozens of shoes to the back of the car. I stared and laughed. _Alice will be Alice_, I thought to myself. I tried to shield Bella from the rice, as she climbed in the car, and called out "I love you" to the families waving on the porch. I climbed in next to Bella and squeezed her hand as the car pulled away.

"I love you" I told her, and the words had never been as true for anyone, anywhere as they were for us right now.

She leaned her head against my arm, and quoted me. "That's why we're here."

I kissed her hair. I had never thought it was possible for two people to love each other as much as we did right now. As we got onto the highway, I hit the accelerator, and I could hear a piercing howl coming from the forest. I willed the car to go faster, to take me further away from one of the biggest obstacles Bella and I had overcome so far. And as we drove off into the sunset, I couldn't help but feel like Prince Charming, and I could feel my Princess right beside me. I guess happy endings aren't just for fairytales after all.


	5. Isle Esme

_**Disclaimer: I am not the wonderful Stephenie Meyer, and unfortunately I hold no claim over Edward or any of the Twilight Saga characters, or the storylines themselves, unless there is something you read that wasn't in the series. **_

_**A/N: So to all my loyal readers, I am so totally sorry that it has taken me so long to update. I hope you all love this chapter, and that there isn't an angry mob out looking for me. *Looks out window* My internet got disconnected for like a month, then I have been so busy with school, and I have had MAJOR writers block. I love you all bunches, and it wont be so long between updates now. **_

_**Love,**_

_**Alicia**_

"_Houston?" Bella asked raising her eyebrows when we reached our terminal at the Seattle airport. I grinned, loving that she was so clueless._

"_Just a stop along the way" I assured her. _

_Bella fell asleep quickly on the plane, and I was left alone with my thoughts as I held her. Despite what everyone else thought, I would not break my promise to Bella. I would grant her the one thing she truly wanted, before I changed her. How could I deny her what she wanted? I felt like I was taking so much away from her, I was pretty sure that I'd do just about anything she asked of me to make it up to her. And Bella didn't ask for much, so how could I deny her when she did?_

_It seemed like our flight was barely more than twenty minutes, but I knew in reality it had been hours. I had just been so wrapped up in my thoughts that I lost track of time. Plus, time is different for our kind than it is for humans, it seems to go by differently for us. Like we had our own laws of physics._

_I gently shook Bella to wake her as we landed, and she was still groggy as I pulled her through the brightly lit terminals. We stopped at the international counter for our next flight. After we were checked in, we stood and waited to board the plane. _

"_Rio de Janeiro?" Bella asked me, this time with more apprehension in her tone. _

"_Another stop."_

_The first class seats on the plane to South America were much more comfortable than the ones on our previous flight. Although this flight was much longer than the first, I had no morbid thoughts. As I held Bella in my arms, I just soaked in the fact that she loved me as much as I loved her, and the fact that we had eternity to spend together. I could hear Bella's heart beat slow to a gradual, steady beat, that told me she was sleeping. _

_She slept for what seemed like forever, and then she awoke unusually alert. She must have just slept herself out. We landed just as the sun was beginning to set outside, and we made our way quickly through the airport and got into a taxi. _

_Bella's eyes were wide as she took in the lively, brightly lit streets of Rio, but they turned puzzled when she heard me giving the driver instructions in Portuguese. She had the same puzzled expression on her face as the crowds we passed grew smaller and smaller, until finally we were at the extreme western edge of the city, heading towards the ocean. Finally we got out and stopped at the docks. _

_I grabbed the luggage out of the cab, then took Bella by the hand and led her down the dock, which was lined full of white yachts. Then I came to Carlisle's speedboat. Though it was smaller than the yachts, it was still just as luxurious. I leapt in lightly, setting the luggage down, then turned around and helped Bella onto the boat. _

_I tinkered around for a few minutes, getting the boat ready for departure, and then we took off heading out into the open ocean. Bella sat patiently, as the boat soared through the water, and I smiled exuberantly. I just loved the speed. Knowing Bella as well as I do, I was sure that she was trying to figure out where we were going, and that's why she was so quiet. I wondered how long she could go without asking. _

_A few moments after I had thought this, her curiosity got the best of her._

"_Are we going much further?" she asked timidly._

_I suppressed a smile as I looked at her and realized how tightly she was gripping her seat. "About another half hour" I said looking at her hands again and grinning, unable to hold back any longer._

_It was silent for the next twenty minutes, other than the roar of the engine and the sound of the water. When I spotted our destination, I waited a few minutes to tell Bella, knowing that if I told her as soon as I seen it, she would get frustrated that she couldn't. Her human eyes were practically blind compared to mine._

"_Bella, look there" I said pointing straight ahead to the island we were heading to. She stared out into the blackness for a few moments, but then comprehension dawned on her face as she finally started to make out the image of the island._

_As we drew closer, I headed around to the north end of the island, Bella asked the question I had been waiting for. _

"_Where are we?" She stared around in wonder._

_I smiled broadly and said, "This is Isle Esme."_

_The boat slowed as I spoke, and I pulled it up against the small dock. I shut off the engine, and Bella looked at me as if she wasn't sure she had heard me right._

"_Isle __Esme_?" she said making the connection.

"A gift from Carlisle Esme offered to let us borrow it." Bella had always hated the fact that I would love nothing more than to shower her with lavish gifts, but it was, in fact, learned behavior. I had "grown-up" in my vampire years seeing Carlisle give Esme gifts like islands, and thinking nothing of it.

I placed the suitcases on the dock, and turned back and reached for Bella. When she held out her hand to me, rather than just taking it, I scooped her up completely, springing out of the boat with her cradled in my arms.

"Aren't you supposed to wait for the threshold?" She asked a little breathlessly.

I grinned at her. "I'm nothing if not thorough."

I grabbed out trunks in one hand, and held her in the other, as I made my way towards the house. As we got closer to the house, I could hear and feel Bella's heart beginning to hammer harder in her chest. I stared at her trying to make sure she was okay, but her eyes never met mine.

Finally I dropped my gaze, and decided against asking her what she was thinking. As we got closer to the house I grew more nervous. I was never really nervous about anything, so to me it was all the more terrifying. I knew that I wanted to make love to Bella, but I was absolutely terrified of hurting her. Focusing on what Esme had said at the wedding, I kept pushing forward.

I set the luggage down on the porch and opened the doors that led into the house. This time when I looked at Bella's face, I waited for her gaze to meet mine before I carried her through the door.

We went through the house, and I flipped on all the lights, as I carried Bella in my arms. I studied her face as she took in the house, and she seemed to like it. I thought that she was going to have a heart attack if she didn't calm down. I could hear her heart beating rapidly in her chest like a drum. _Boom, boom, boom, boom._

I turned on the light in the room I had saved for last: the master bedroom. There were French doors against the wall that opened up to the beach, and a massive white bed that took up most of the room. I set Bella on her feet, not sure what to do next. I was growing more nervous by the second.

"I'll… go get the luggage." I said awkwardly, needing to escape for a moment to calm myself down.

Walking swiftly back outside, I grabbed the luggage and took a short moment to compose myself. _I will make love to my wife, and I will not hurt her_, I vowed to myself.

I returned back into the room, no more than a minute after I had left, and set the luggage down. Bella was standing next to the bed, touching the filmy netting that surrounded it, and she hadn't heard me reenter.

A bead of sweat was on the back of her neck, and I wiped it away. "It's a little hot in here," I said in an apologetic tone. "I thought… that would be best."

"Thorough." She murmured mostly to herself.

"I tried to think of everything that would make this… easier" I admitted. I mentally groaned at myself, hating the fact that my anxiety and fear were cracking into my voice. My nervousness was eating away at me.

Bella swallowed loudly.

"I was wondering," I began slowly, "if… first… maybe you'd like to take a midnight swim with me?" I took a deep breath to steady myself, and chase the anxiety out of my voice. When I spoke again I was more at ease. "The water will be very warm. This is the kind of beach you approve of."

"Sounds nice", she said as her voice broke slightly. She was just as scared as I was.

"I'm sure you'd like a human moment or two… it was a long journey." I knew that she would probably need a moment to calm herself down, because I needed one as well. She nodded stiffly. I walked to where she stood and kissed her neck just below her ear. I chuckled once at how rapidly her heart was beating, but more to cover up my nervousness.

"Don't take _too_ long Mrs. Cullen." I absolutely loved to call her by her new name, and she jumped a little still not used to the sound of it. I brushed my lips from her neck down to the tip of her shoulder. "I'll wait for you in the water."

With that I turned and began to walk toward the French doors. I slipped my shirt off on the way out, dropping it on the floor. Leaving the door open behind me, I continued walking straight down the beach to the waters edge. Not pausing for a single second, I slipped out of the clothes I was still wearing, and hung them over the palm tree. Then I walked into the water until I was about waist deep. I dove into the clear blue water, swimming deeper and deeper, thinking that maybe if I went deep enough I could loose all of my fear.

I had been underwater for about ten minutes now, and I could still feel the fear and anxiety there. I decided that I should probably swim to the surface now. Bella would be coming soon.

Only about two minutes after I broke the surface, I heard the light in the bathroom click off, and Bella's foot steps approaching me. I stayed where I was, still gazing at the moon, giving her as much time as she needed to make it to me. She tried to make sure that her breathing was even, but her hammering pulse gave her away. I stood rooted to the spot, with my hands on the surface of the water.

I heard her enter the water and slowly make her way to where I was until, she was right behind me. Now I was almost as scared as I could ever remember being in my life. I loved her with everything I had, which in my opinion wasn't much, but could I really do this? If I lost control for a single second…

My thoughts were interrupted as she lay her hand on top of mine. I know that if my heart were able to beat, the moment she touched me, I may very well have gone into cardiac arrest. Her touch electrified me, in a way it never had before.

"Beautiful", she murmured, as she gazed up at the moon.

"It's alright." Before she had come out, this moon was slightly pretty. But now that she was out here in the water with me, it didn't have a chance at being anything other than ordinary.

I turned to face her, twisting my hand so that our fingers intertwined beneath the surface of the water. "But I wouldn't use the word beautiful. Not with you standing here in comparison."

She half-smiled, and raised her free hand to my chest, placing it over my heart. My breathing became rough and uneven. I couldn't do this. It's to much of a risk. All the things I have saved her from, I wont be the one to destroy her, which would destroy me. But I promised her. It would kill me to break a promise to her.

"I promised we would _try_", my words came out in a whisper and my voice trembling slightly. "If…if I do something wrong, if I hurt you, you must tell me at once."

She nodded keeping her eyes locked on mine. I could see it in those beautiful chocolate brown eyes, that she was no longer afraid. There was now another emotion brewing beneath the surface.

"Don't be afraid", she murmured. "We belong together."

I wrapped my arms around her. I knew that she was right. This was the way we were supposed to be. We were meant for each other. I had waited for ninety years to find her. Everything happened for a reason, and this moment was one thing and one thing only. Perfect.

"Forever." I agreed as I wrapped my arms around her, and pulled us deeper into the water.

* * * * *

I had been lying there holding her in my arms all night. I was so disgusted with myself at the monster I am, that it's hard to even think how much I hate myself.

How could I take such risks with her life? Would she wake up and hate me? She should, I almost wished that she would, but I know she wont. She was too forgiving. I wasn't strong enough to leave her, but I needed her to leave me.

Jacob Black was right all along. I was going to be the death of her. The mere thought of a world where Bella didn't exist was to painful to even fathom. This time, I wouldn't fail. When Bella woke up, I would make her see reason.

She would see the monstrous things I had done to her, and I would make her see that she had to leave. Then I would go straight to the Volturi. It would kill Esme, but they would have to understand, her life is more valuable than mine. A life without her is no life at all. She belonged with Jacob. He would have never hurt her this way.

Sitting here watching her sleep, realizing how breakable she was, it killed me to even believe that I was ready to rob her of so many things. I was going insane.

Her pulse gradually slipped up to a higher frequency, and I knew she was awake, all though her eyes were still closed. I didn't blame her for that. I wouldn't want to look at me either after what I had done to her.

I placed my hand on the small of her back, and began absently tracing designs on her skin. She clung tighter to me, as I traced my fingers along her back, barely touching her skin. Then I heard her stomach growl and she laughed slightly. What on earth could she possibly find funny?

"What's funny?" I murmured, my voice sounding huskier than I wanted it to. I felt her skin grow slightly warmer on my chest and I knew she was blushing.

Her stomach growled again.

"You just cant escape being human for very long", she said laughing again. Was there some kind of sick humor in all of this that I kept missing?

She propped herself up on her elbow, and stared intently at my face. I was sure by this action that she had finally picked up on my dark mood, but I refused to meet her gaze, I couldn't stand to see what I had done.

Instead I stared directly above to the white netting that made a canopy over the bed. My expression was grave as I waited for this chain of horrible events to fully unfold, ultimately leaving Bella as a happy human, and me dead. That was the plan.

"Edward?", she said almost hesitantly. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"You have to ask?" My voice was hard, cynical. I couldn't let her see the broken man I felt inside me, the hatred I felt at myself right now. That would make her pity me, and then she wouldn't leave me.

She was silent for a long moment, and it made me uneasy.

"What are you thinking?" I whispered, as I reached out to her, and smoothed the worried lines on her forehead.

"Your upset. I don't understand. Did I…?", she stopped and left the question lingering in the air.

I couldn't allow her to think she had done anything wrong. I had to just tell her straight up, so she could run as far from me as she could, and I could go to Volterra.

"How badly are you hurt, Bella? The truth don't try to downplay it."

"Hurt?" Her voice came out in a high pitch.

I raised an eyebrow, my lips were a tight line. She noticed my expression, and began flexing all of her muscles, still not looking at herself.

Suddenly, I noticed anger cross her expression. I braced myself for what was about to happen. Just because I knew it had to happen this way doesn't mean it would hurt any less.

"Why would you jump to that conclusion?" She demanded angrily. "I've never felt better than I am now."

I guess I deserved for the torture to be prolonged. I was a monster after all. There wasn't an afterlife for my kind, as Carlisle so foolishly believed, but I'm sure if there were I would be going straight to hell.

"Stop that." I said closing my eyes. If I looked in her eyes I would never be able to make her leave me.

"Stop _what_?"

"Stop acting like I'm not a monster for having agreed to this."

"Edward!" she whispered, really getting upset now. "Don't ever say that."

"Look at yourself, Bella. Then tell me I'm not a monster."

I felt bad, because she looked almost hurt at what I said. I was about to begin to explain when she finally did what I said.

As she took in the sight of her skin, she gasped. Finally. It was almost over.

She pinched a piece of the down that covered her skin, and said "Why am I covered in feathers?"

I exhaled impatiently. Damn it! Why couldn't she just start screaming that she hated me? Why did she love me so much? I didn't deserve it.

"I bit a pillow. Or two. That's not what I'm talking about."

"You…bit a pillow? _Why_?"

"Look, Bella!" I almost growled. It was almost as if she were deliberately dragging this plan out. I took her hand, very delicately, and stretched her arm out. "Look at _that_."

This time she saw what I meant. Under the dusting of feathers that covered her skin, there were large purplish bruises that stained her perfect ivory skin. She looked as if she had been abused repeatedly. If I were capable, I'm sure I would vomit. I was so disgusted with myself.

She still didn't seem angry with me, so I knew she didn't understand what she was seeing. So to prove what I meant, I placed my hand against the bruises on her arm. My long fingers perfectly matched every bruise, as if the were a stamp. She stared in awe.

"Oh," she finally said.

A concentrated look swept over her face, and I wondered what on earth she could be thinking. My will began to crumble slowly. My resolve was shattered by that look on her face. I had to apologize. My heart was breaking.

"I'm… so sorry, Bella." I whispered while I stared at the bruises that covered her skin. "I knew better than this. I should not have " I made a low disgusted sound in the back of my throat. " I am more sorry than I can tell you."

I threw my arm over my face, like a small child, trying to hide what I had done from myself. I became perfectly still, not even bothering to breathe. I didn't deserve oxygen anyway.

Bella sat there silently, for what seemed like hours. But in reality, I knew it was only a few minutes. Then she reached over and touched my arm. Her skin on mine was like a heat flash, reminding me of what happened last night.

When I didn't respond to her touch, she wrapped her fingers around my wrist and tugged on it.

"Edward."

I still didn't move.

"Edward?" Her voice grew more desperate. When I still didn't answer, she continued speaking.

"_I'm_ not sorry, Edward. I'm… I cant even tell you. I'm _so_ happy. That doesn't cover it. Don't be angry. I'm really f "

I finally spoke, interrupting her before I exploded.

"Do not say the word _fine_." My voice was cold as ice. "If you value my sanity, do not say that you are fine."

"But I _am_" she whispered, so low human ears would have never heard.

"Bella" I almost moaned. I was so torn. I didn't know if I wanted her to hate me, or to love me. "Don't."

"No. _You _don't, Edward." She said, her voice suddenly fierce.

The change in her tone got the better of me, and I finally looked up at her, watching her warily.

"Don't ruin this. I. Am. Happy."

"I've already ruined this", I said, still disgusted with myself.

"Cut it out", she snapped at me, sounding more vicious than I expected.

I ground my teeth together. Was it really so hard to just see how horrible I was for her? I could see now that my plan to go to the Volturi was insane, after all Bella and I were meant to be together, but couldn't she just hate me for two minutes? Just admit that I was a monster, and stay away from me until she was strong enough to kill me if I hurt her? Was that so difficult?

"Ugh!" she groaned. "Why cant you just read my mind already? It's so _inconvenient_ to be a mental mute!"

My eyes widened slightly. She had distracted me in spite of myself. What was she so desperate for me to know that she couldn't just say it?

"That's a new one. You love that I cant read your mind." I stated matter-of-factly. I paid very close attention to Bella. I probably new her better than anyone else on earth.

"Not today."

I stared at her blankly. "Why?"

She threw her hands up in frustration, and her hands fell back against my chest with a sharp smack. Of course I didn't feel a thing, but I was concerned that she had hurt her hand. I was about to ask if she was okay, when she started ranting at me.

"Because all this angst would be completely unnecessary if you could see how I feel right now! Or five minutes ago, anyway. I _was_ perfectly happy. Totally and completely blissed out. Now well, I'm sort of pissed, actually."

Finally. About time she just got mad at me.

"You _should _be angry at me."

"Well, I am. Does that make you feel better?"

I sighed. Of course not. I had hurt her, and I knew no matter how hard I tried to make it up to her, I could never change it.

"No. I don't think anything could make me feel better now."

"_That_," she snapped at me. "That right there is why I'm angry. You are _killing my buzz_, Edward."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. When was she going to see reason? I will be the first to admit that my plans I had made earlier were way far fetched, but she should be angry at me for more than "killing her buzz".

She took a deep breath and I could tell she wanted nothing more than to stop the arguing. I was about to speak, but she began in, what I assumed, was the calmest voice she could muster at the moment.

"We knew this was going to be tricky. I thought that was assumed. And then well it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. And this is really nothing." She said brushing her hand across her arm. "I think for a first time, not knowing what to expect, we did amazing. With a little practice "

She looked up at me, and stopped mid-sentence.

My expression was livid, and I was so angry that I'm sure I would have busted every blood vessel in my body if that were even possible for me anymore. So she assumed that she would get hurt? She knew what a monster I was?

"Assumed? Did you _expect_ this, Bella? Were you anticipating that I would hurt you? Were you thinking it would be worse? Do you consider the experiment a success because you can walk away from it? No broken bones that equals a victory?"

I tried as hard as I could to keep from screaming at her, but I was finding it difficult to keep my temper in check. She just sat there patiently, letting me rant like a lunatic.

My chest was heaving from yelling, and she sat quietly while my breathing slowed, and finally became a regular slow rhythm again. I was finally calming down.

She began speaking again, this time with a slow precision, like she was choosing her words carefully.

"I didn't know what to expect but I definitely did not expect how… how… just wonderful and prefect it was." Her gaze dropped down to her hands, which were twisted in her lap. And the expression that crossed her face shattered my heart into a million pieces. ""I mean I don't know how it was for you, but it was like that for me."

I gently slipped my finger under her chin, and pulled her head up to look her in the eyes. How could she worry about such a thing? She thought I didn't enjoy myself, and she was beating herself up over it?

"Is that what you're worried about?" I said through my teeth. "That I didn't _enjoy_ myself?"

Her eyes stayed down, like she was ashamed of herself, and she refused to meet my gaze. "I know its not the same. You're not human. I was just trying to explain that, for a human, well, I cant imagine that life gets any better than that."

My heart broke over and over again. She thought that she hadn't pleased me, and she was upset with herself over it. She felt like she wasn't enough for me. If only she knew how untrue that was. I cant _survive without her_. She thinks its me that saves her all the time, and she has no idea how backwards she's got it. She has been saving me from myself since day one.

"It seems that I have more to apologize for", I said frowning. "I didn't dream that you would construe the way I feel about what I did to you to mean that last night wasn't… well, the best night of my existence. But I don't want to think of it that way, not when you were…"

Her lips curved up a little at the edges, as she smiled in spite of herself. She loved me so wholly, so fully, that it made my heart swell so big I felt as if it would burst through my chest. The fact that she had been the reason for the best night of my existence made her so happy…

"Really? The best ever?" she said in a small voice.

I took her gorgeous face between my hands. "I spoke to Carlisle after you and I made our bargain, hoping he could help me. Of course he warned me that this would be very dangerous for you.", I cringed internally, "He had faith in me, though faith I didn't deserve."

Bella started to protest, ready to defend me to myself no doubt, but I wanted her to hear this. So I place two fingers over her lips and continued.

"I also asked what _I_ should expect. I didn't know what it would be for me… What with my being a vampire." I smiled at her, but only half-heartedly. "Carlisle told me it was a very powerful thing, like nothing else. He told me physical love was not something I should treat lightly. With our rarely changing temperaments, strong emotions can alter us in permanent ways. But he said I did not need to worry about that part you had already altered me so completely." This time I smiled more genuinely as I looked into the beautiful chocolate-brown eyes of my soul mate.

"I spoke to my brothers, too. They told me it was a very great pleasure. Second only to drinking human blood. But I've tasted your blood, and there could be no blood more potent than _that_… I don't think they were wrong, really. Just that it was different for us. Something more."

"It _was_ more. It was everything." She said, almost breathless.

"That doesn't change the fact that it was wrong. Even if it were possible that you really did feel that way."

This set her off. "What does _that_ mean? Do you think I'm making this up? Why?"

"To ease my guilt. I can't ignore the evidence, Bella. Or your history of trying to let me off the hook when I make mistakes."

She suddenly grabbed my chin, and pulled her face to mine so that we were just inches apart. "You listen to me, Edward Cullen, I am not pretending anything for your sake, okay? I didn't even know that there was a reason to make you feel better until you started being all miserable. _I've _never been so happy in all my life I wasn't this happy when you decided that you loved me more than you wanted to kill me, or the first morning I woke up and you were there waiting for me… Not when I heard your voice in the ballet studio" I flinched at those horrible memories, but she didn't even pause, "or when you said 'I do' and I realized that, somehow, I get to keep you forever. Those are the happiest memories I have, and this is better than any of them. So just deal with it." I reached out and touched the line that was creasing her brow. "I'm making you unhappy now. I don't want to do that."

"Then don't you be unhappy. That's the only thing that's wrong here."

I took a deep breath and nodded.

"You're right. The past is the past and I can't do anything to change it. There's no sense in letting my mood sour this time for you. I'll do whatever I can to make you happy now."

She stared me up and down, suspiciously, as if she didn't believe a word I was saying. "Whatever makes me happy?" She said as her stomach growled loudly, reminding me that she had yet to eat.

"You're hungry," I said quickly hoping to distract her. A tuft of feathers swirled in the air as I stood.

"So why exactly did you decide to ruin Esme's pillows?" she asked as she sat up, shaking more of the down from her hair.

By this time I had already pulled on a pair of khakis and I was standing by the door, shaking a few feathers from my hair as well.

"I don't know if I _decided_ to do anything last night," I answered honestly. "We're just lucky it was the pillows and not you" I said, trying to shake the morbid thought from my mind. I refocused on the fact that Bella was now Mrs. Edward Cullen, the one thought I knew would make me happy again.

As I was lost in thought, Bella slipped carefully off the bed, stretching as she did. When she stood, naked., that was all I could see were the bruises. I spun around quickly, trying to hide the expression of the pure hatred I had for myself from her. I balled my fists up as tightly as I could, trying to contain myself.

"Do I look that hideous?" she said lightly trying to make a joke out of the situation. As if anything could be found funny about me being such a monster!

I stood in the bedroom, and listened as hard as I could for her reaction, to her bruised body. I couldn't blame her if she decided to hate me. I heard a sharp intake of breath, and then a long groan, and I bolted through the bathroom door.

"Bella?"

"I'll _never_ get all of this out of my hair!" she whined, as she began attempting to pluck all the feathers out. I had to work hard to keep from rolling my eyes at her.

"You _would _be worried about your hair," I mumbled, unsure if she heard me or not. I walked up behind her and began quickly plucking the feathers out.

"How did you keep from laughing at this? I look ridiculous."

Silence from my end. Nothing could amuse me, given my current mood.

"This isn't going to work," she sighed after a moment. "It's all dried in. I'm going to have to try to wash it out." She turned to face me, and wrapped her arms around her waist. "Do you want to help me?"

"I'd better find some food for you." I said turning quickly away, and escaping to the kitchen.

* * * * *

I tried to get myself under control as I concentrated on making Bella an egg, bacon, and cheese omelet. The food network was one of the most educational TV channels I had seen in a long time. I got so engrossed in cooking, that I hadn't even noticed that the water in the bathroom had shut off.

Bella walked in the room, and took a deep breath. Her stomach growled loudly. I slid the omelet out of the pan, and onto a plate sitting on the counter.

"Here" I said setting the plate on the table for her.

She sat at the table and began to scarf down the hot eggs, like she had never eaten before in her life.

"I'm not feeding you often enough." I stated, feeling like a failure as a husband already.

She swallowed and said " I was asleep. This is really good by the way. Impressive for someone who doesn't eat."

"Food Network" I said flashing a smile.

"Where did the eggs come from?" she wondered aloud.

"I asked the cleaning crew to stock the kitchen. A first, for this place. I'll have to ask them to deal with the feathers…" I trailed off, trying not to think about it.

"Thank you." Bella said, leaning across the table to kiss me.

I kissed her back, but then quickly recoiled. I couldn't get carried away with her again.

She gritted her teeth. "You aren't going to touch me again while we're here, are you?" She accused.

I thought about the best answer for a moment, then half-smiled and raised my hand to her face, and gently stroked her cheek.

She leaned her face gently into my palm. "You know that's not what I meant."

I sighed and dropped my hand to the table. "I know. And you're right." I said, my voice full of resolve. "I will not make love with you until you've been changed. I will never hurt you again."


End file.
